The Trials and Tribulations of Breasts

Breasts. Melons. Boobs. Fun bags. Chesticals. 

Call them whatever you want. All human beings have breast - including males. In females however, breast development is typically more pronounced . The cause of this is because men have higher amounts of testosterone, a sex hormone that influences the development of primary and secondary sex characteristics in men. On the other hand, women have higher concentrations of the sex hormone, estrogen, and because of this, women tend to have more boobage. There are many variants in breast size amongst both sexes however, and even men can develop lady like breast, a condition known as gynecomastia. 

Regardless, we’ve come to a general consensus that women have larger racks than the opposite sex; for this these mammorous sacs are revered.Take a look at a magazine, an ad, a TV commercial, or watch a film, one will see that boobs are ubiquitous. I can’t speak for other nations, but I can definitely say that boobs play an important part in our culture as Americans. Breasts are seen as a very defining part of womanhood, and are desired sexually. Knowing this, it’s no surprise that cosmetic surgery makes much of it’s profit off of breast augmentations. Some women want fuller, larger breast in order to get rid of some insecurities they may have about their physical body. I can’t say that I wasn’t one of those females.

In my early teens, after undergoing puberty, I would stare at my budding chest, wishing and hoping that my chesticals would grow larger. I felt that I was inadequate with my small B cup boobs, and that in order to be more beautiful and more womanly, I needed bigger boobs. I never got them though, and my B cups stuck with me as I changed from a egocentric adolescent to an emerging adult. I did away with my world ways, and grew to accept my body (flaws and all), and I simply didn’t care anymore how my breast looked, ‘cause frankly I’d transcended above those juvenile worries. 

Finally satisfied with my bosom, how ironic that (because of weight gain) my breast would enlargen. Suddenly, I had larger breast, and they grew so quickly that I’m still not certain what range they happen to be in! I’m anywhere from a large B to a small C. Wherever my boobs lay, I don’t like it! I never knew the perils that breasts could bring to my life. Big boobs are a plague - or at least to me. Breast are constantly in the way, no matter where you got hey are there. Giving hugs, dancing, climbing stairs - regardless what the activity is, breasts make sure to go along with you while you’re doing it. I constantly have to feel them bouncing, jiggling, and hanging on my being while I’m trying to do simple things like bend over. This torment is on a daily, and I constantly gripe to my friends about wanting to have my smaller boobs back. They laugh, and look at me quizzically, not understanding why I despise breast so. I understand that breast are important for nourishing babies, and feeding the young. Breast milk gives very important nutrients, and antibodies to a newborn in order to help their well being. Breastfeeding creates a beautiful bond between mother and child. The thing is - I’m not a mother, and I certainly won’t be for a good ten years or so! So, until I finally get impregnated, I’m cursed to carry around these sacs of fat wherever I go. Until I begin to lactate, they will continue to just take up space in my shirts, sag, and put me at risk for developing cancer. 

Breasts, I feel, are like weights that prevent one from doing regular activities with ease. The  worst place to have big boobs is at the gym. Just recently, I was on the elliptical, and I was trekking hard. As I increased my speed, I had to hold my breast in order to stop them from bouncing up and down and causing pain. I also tried to jump rope, and that was a fail to say the least. My breast were jumping faster than I was and I had to stop before they popped off of my chest. Now, someone might say, “Why don’t you just but a better sports bra?” Well, here’s the thing: sports bras are great but only for a limited amount of time. Most sports bras over time become loose, and less supportive, as is the case with the ones I own now. However, there are really high end sports bras, but the thing is that they cost some high end money. I did a search online, and most of these sports bras are more than fifty dollars. I don’t know about you, but I sure don’t have fifty dollars to be spending on sacs of flesh. It’s madness. I understand that, in order to get what I want, then I will have to shell out for it. I don’t want to do so. Now, I’m not being petulant, I just don’t want to have to spend a gross amount of money for things that I don’t even what to have to begin with! Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that I should just get over it, and I’m just going to have to deal with it. I have breast and I’m stuck with them, right? I wish it were wrong though. Seriously, if it wasn’t for the fact that I like men (and I know men like breast), I’d get rid of the ones I have, and reduce my chest to a pleasant size A. A breast are perfect, for they allow one to move unhindered, and yet have enough mammary glands to provide milk to a hungry child.

 There is nothing great about breast in my eyes, and unless you find them sexy, they don’t do much but accumulate fat. Now people say that breast are great in sexual situations. I do not concur, because it is the nipple that is the pleasure point. As long as one has a nipple, you can experience the pleasure. All that skin surrounding doesn’t do much.

Those of you out there with small breast, be happy! Don’t despair, and don’t think that you are less of anything for having the cups you have. Gravity will not treat you as bad as it will me.